Tuesday, September 6, 2016

The "Un-Love" Game By: Dixie Robinson

          


           Swiping, hook-ups, ghosting, and just overall, bad dating etiquette have become a sad reality in the world of singles. Technology has come so far in such a short amount of time that just ten years ago, people were thought to be an outcast or weird if they looked online for love: Now, it’s the norm. Dating is not only more efficient than ever, but singles have the largest dating pool they could want. Sure you can connect with people in your own backyard, but you can also connect with people from all around the world! According to Digital Trends, some of the most popular dating apps are Tinder, OkCupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel. Although social media has done great things for singles, researchers are starting to find adverse consequences that may make you step away from the app dating scene. Poor dating habits and less sex are just some of the effects of online dating.
            According to Francesca Hogi of the Huffington Post, there are three impolite trends in dating that have occurred due to social media and they are “Ghosting,” “Benching,” and “Zombieing.” Ghosting is probably the most well-known of these terms and it’s when someone dumps someone they’re dating by completely cutting off contact. Rather than properly ending things, they just disappear. Benching is when a person keeps someone they’re dating “on the bench” because they don’t want to completely cut them off, but they don’t want to completely be with them either. If something better comes along they’ll probably leave, but if not, they’ll still have you as a backup. Lastly, Zombieing is when a relationship has completely ended (ie. died), and after some time has passed one of the daters starts trying to talk to the other again (ie. coming back to life). With social media, the relationship is many times revived through a text, post, or private message. Another term that must be acknowledged is “Catfishing.” Catfishing is when someone pretends to be a person online and deceives others. In this context, they are usually wanting a relationship to surface from this, but it usually turns out bad. These dating faux pas aren’t necessarily anything new. They happened before social media and dating apps, however with the prevalence of using these mediums for dating, it’s happening much more and terms are being assessed.
Benched

            A recent study was published, according to CNN, that found Millennials are less sexually active than the generation before them. This is surprising to many because Millennials are many times looked at as being oversexualized, when the research is starting to say otherwise. CNN contributes this research to three key reasons: Millennials are too busy, have changing attitudes about sexual activity, and have less pressure about sex. Social media plays a big role in all of these issues; this generation is too busy so they turn to a quicker option to find love; they have changing attitudes because they can find as much information as they want online; they face less sexual pressure because they have other things going on in their social life through social media. One could also presume that all the technology takes intimacy away from people, so they don’t want to have a sexual relationship.

            Dating has changed in so many ways within the last 10-15 years, mainly with the rise of technology and social media. This has made dating easier and faster. Research has shown that dating apps have changed the way people, especially Millennials date. In some ways it’s better because the dating pool is larger and one can potentially find the ideal partner they’re looking for. In some ways it’s damaging because people are being more impolite and having less intimacy with others. Either way, dating will continue to evolve as technology does, and it’s important that people know their options and make the best decision for them. 


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